all these things that i have done...

Today I took my last final (well, hopefully...assuming I pass my gened's and don't have to retake them this summer.......like seriously fingers crossed....) of my undergraduate career.

It was a theatre final, just like it should've been. I spent it with my people, fellow actors, technicians, dancers, etc. I spent it with a professor who I've known the entirety of my five years at UCO, and I spent it in the building that made my dreams come true-Mitchell Hall. The only way it could have been made more perfect would be if we trekked across campus to give Pegasus Theatre a little love. Dreams came true there, too. But then we would have been sprayed by Broncho Lakes mysterious rank liquid, so what are yah' gonna do?

Part of me thinks I should wait to write this post. Perhaps on Sunday, after I've crossed the stage and switched my tassel to the "I GRADUATED" side. Perhaps I should wait even longer than that...not let myself get nostalgic until I've had some time to live in the now. Perhaps the post would be better or longer or funnier or sweeter.

But I'm writing it now.

I'm writing it now because I think none of this has truly hit me yet. Like today in class, I had friends be like *meaningful look* "I'm going to miss you, Kelsey." and I'd be like "what, why? Oh because it's the last day of class! Well, I 'll see you around weirdo!......ooohhh because it's my last day of class with you ever....oh because I'm done at UCO....I'm graduating....BUT, I'll still see y'all!!.....oh I'm going to London in a week and moving to Lubbock, TX by the end of the Summer...ohhhh..oh....I...I'll miss you, too."

I think I need to understand what this all means, I need to access all of my feeLz before it's too late and the next project eats them all up.

Five years. I'm allowed to feel some feeLz whenever I damn want to FeeL them.

UCO: A Divas Reflections on Being A Broncho

-My freshmen year was perfect. Seriously. I had my own house, my roommate was my (and still is) my best friend. I met Tyler. We had a real rocky first year because...well...I was 19, but hey...it all worked out, didn't it? I made lifelong friends. (Seriously, I know that sounds like a line jacked from "7th Heaven", but honestly I am still very good friends with at least 80% of the people I met my freshmen year) I was cast in three of the four shows that year, one of which was my first college lead. Let's reminisce about that, shall we?

I was Masha in Chekhov's "Three Sisters". I had originally been cast as a silent maid in that production. A little over a week before opening night, the actress playing Masha was dropped from the show and the director asked me to step in. I was so scared. I'd wanted this part since the summer before I started college, I'd bawled my eyes out for a day (or 3) when I didn't get it...I went to every rehearsal and envied the other actors for getting to say those beautiful words....and then somehow, some way, the clouds parted and the angels sang and...I got a chance. Though I felt horrible for the actress that I replaced, I felt a joy I still can't describe. Also, a terror. I had a week to learn a Chekov lead, my first lead in college. I had to show people I was good, I had to show them I could do it. At the time, I was still just a freshmen that was lucky enough to be cast in "Antigone" as a chorus member and "Three Sisters" as a maid. This was my chance to show everyone I wasn't just any faceless freshmen that lucked out by getting some stage time at all. This was my chance to show them I was Kelsey Fisher, y'all.

That whole production is pretty much a blur for me. Cramming so much in so little time multiplied with sheer ecstasy, throwing myself into a show harder than I ever had before, left this spot of my life a little hazy to access once the experience came to a close. I remember that I got my first Irene Ryan nomination from the adjudicator his (or her...I don't know...) self. I felt like I had finally carved out the first big step in what I hoped would be a lovely path at UCO.

I did, and it was.

I went to my first ACTF. It was in Amarillo, Texas and it still remains the best time I ever had at ACTF...besides maybe my second year going. Which was also in Amarillo. The only reason it challenges my first year is because Tyler and I weren't together the first year but were the second. So, yeah. Anyways, I have so many memories of the trip. It was bananas. Between Mason, Tyler, Taylor, Andy, Alli, Craig, Damen, Jill, Summer, Tim and everyone else...it was just a blast. A messy, theatrical ACTF-y blast.

I was also in a beautiful show called "Changed Forever", a show we devised about the Oklahoma City Bombing. It was a life changing experience and I am so grateful I was a part of it. This show gave me my second ACTF nomination which I spoiled above. Yay! Amarillo pt. 2!

I received an award from the College of Fine Arts and Design for my excellence in theatre. As a freshmen, I was on cloud nine. What more could I possibly ask for?

Basically, I met two of my best friends (T and Tand, I'm looking at you. I love you both more than words can say. You are my family.) as well as my soul mate. Plus I got to do some good theatre. Plus plus I somehow got almost perfect grades my first year of college. (All A's....and one C...still bitter..)

Like I said, my freshmen year kicked ass.

-Sophomore year brought with it some sorrow, acting wise. That Fall semester was the first (and thank God, only) semester that I didn't get cast in either of the shows. I mean, yeah I was in one acts and stuff...but I'll never forget the kick in the stomach, the freaking punch in the heart that I felt when I walked up to those two cast lists and didn't see my name. I, being the drama queen that I am, darted out of the building. I didn't want anyone to see me cry. I knew that for some, this was fair. I had been in three shows already, it was time for me to warm the bench. For me, it was devastating. I went into a bathroom in another building, an upstairs bathroom that looked pretty unused. I broke the eff down there. One of my best friends, Ashleigh, found me and comforted me. We sat on the counter of a janky bathroom on the second floor of what I'm pretty sure was the business building. I remember it like it was yesterday. Sophomore year also brought something pretty amazing. It brought back Tyler Waits. It was technically the summer before sophomore year...but still. He had been cast as the lead in one of the two shows that semester. He tried to contain his own excitement and took such care of me. I remember that show well, I saw it every night. Saw Tyler finally have HIS moment at UCO to really show his stuff. Yeah, he'd been cast a lot in general...but his portrayal of Roat in "Wait Until Dark" was Tyler at his best. He was captivating.

Spring semester came and, thank God, so did a cast list with my name on it. Little Women. My second Bob play. It was lovely and I was thankful. To any that heard my speech for and about Bob at last nights banquet can see how deeply I meant what I said when I proclaimed that Dr. Robert E. McGill had always been my beacon of light, my home. Any time I felt lost, he took my hand and showed me the way. This was just one of many examples of his kindness throughout my years at UCO. I received my third ACTF nomination from this show. A lucky girl, I am. 

This is also the year Brittany Johnson and I became friends. Though we had been in Changed Forever together, we didn't really get close until we had improv together the Spring semester of sophomore year. She, Rachel Turner and I became fast, intense friends. Though the beautiful Ms. Turner (soon to be a bride, exchanging that Ms. for a Mrs.!!! Ahhh!) had a big girl job and less time to hang after awhile, Brittany and I got even closer. In high school, I met Addie. Freshmen year, I met Taylor and Andy (and of course Tyler). Sophomore year brought me another best friend in a feisty, half of her head shaved package known as Bratney. I love her dearly. 

-Junior year was a blast. I got to play another dream role, Dorine in "Tartuffe" alongside one of my best friends Taylor Harris as the bad guy, himself! I was in a dinner theatre production called "Happy Anniversary Angel, Love Gino" which introduced me to some of the fabulous people in the education department (the director was an Ed professor) and expanded my improv skillZ (which are not very big anyways, so I'll take what I can get) and was overall just a lot of fun. Plus I got my fourth ACTF nom, another year of theatre, friends, challenges and beer. I was also cast in Dr. Bristow's last show before retirement at UCO. "The Lark", it was. One of my other best friends, Andy Harp, got his Lead Role on in that production and killed it! My part wasn't huge or anything, but hey, I had finally been cast in a Bristow show (aka-a show that is beautifully directed) and I was ecstatic.

In between all the stage time a little slice of sass walked into my life. Another wonderful best friend. My soul-sister baby boy betch, Tyle Bivens. We met at Tartuffe auditions and after that I just couldn't really shake him. I tried. Just kidding. Kind of. But really though, after that first meeting, it was done. We weren't fast friends, really, we were more like instant friends. Instant friends and fast best friends. Life got a little shot of pizazz when that fellow diva entered it. I love em' so much.

-Senior year pt.1 was crazy. Crazy, wonderful. We had a new professor, Kato Buss, come to UCO. At the time I dreaded the thought of any kind of change, especially my fourth year of college. Little did I know that not only was Kato going to be an amazing professor to all, but that he was also going to be a wonderful friend to me. I'm so goddamn grateful that dude became a BronCHo. I was cast in my first Shakespeare play, Henry V. I played a welsh guy named Fluellen. I was cast in Kato's premier show "Anton in Show Business" where I played three other guys and received my fifth and final ACTF nomination. Anyways, It was a manly year, y'all. But so much fun. I was also cast again by the lovely Dr. Bob as Amanda Wingfield in Tennessee Williams "The Glass Menagerie". I'm still on a high from that. I may be about thirty years too young to play her in real life, but Amanda is and will always be a dream role of mine. I hope I get to play her again someday.

Oh, yeah. I got engaged. Tyler Steven Cute Butt Waits proposed to me on December 22nd 2012. I came home from a shift at Hideaway. I was grumpy, covered in sauce and sass, and ready to be home. As I walked in the door I noticed a huge box under the tree, a box that hadn't been there when I left. I, being the present lover that I am (I want you guys to know that I just started typing the word "president" instead of "present", so from now on I will only be referred to as The Honorable President Lover. But not in a Monica Lewinski way.) I asked who it was for. He coyly smiled and said he didn't know, how about I check? A surge of energy passed through me and I just knew he was going to propose. I tore open the present and inside the box I found a robe. As you can imagine, I was underwhelmed. I was like "oh, thank you?". Side story: I always steal Tyler's robe. Boy robes better than girl robes. Okay, back to the story. I was like "I guess I'll stop stealing yours now heh heh heh..." and put it back in the box. He, flustered, was like "Well, wait! Did you check the pockets!"  The light returned to my eyes and I lunged (not really, but kind of I'm sure) for the robe again and inside I found the box. I opened up and saw my beautiful ring, looked at Tyler in front of me and said yes as he asked that wonderful question "Will you marry me?". We sat on the floor and took selfies and laughed and were engaged. I asked him why he put the ring in a bathrobe and he explained how he thought I would be so excited about the robe that I would immediately put it on my body and dance around luxuriating in it, happen to notice a pocket was heavy and be shocked to find the contents inside, SURPRISE! I laughed at him for awhile and told him he was absurd. Then we kissed and life was, life is, just freaking lovely. I love that dweeb.

Also, Addie got engaged to the love of her life! Love was living large in the wintery months of 12' and early springy months of 13'.

I wrote and directed my very own one act. It was such a cool thing, seeing my brainchild on stage. Plus Tyler was in it and he was real cute. 

Oh, I also wrote and directed FUBAR with some of my greatest friends including Andy, Guy, Pipkin, Brittany and our beloved stage manager Sierra Carter. More on her later. We were, and are still, pretty damn proud of that show. 

Senior year pt. 2 has been so strange. A beautiful kind of strange, yes, but strange nonetheless. I was the Duke in "Measure for Measure", once again directed by Dr. Bobby McGill, and "Bobrauschenbergamerica" by Dr. Buss aka Kool Kat Kato. (He'll hate me for calling him that.) (If he reads this.) (Are you there Kato? It's me, Kelsey.) Both were challenging, both were beautiful and both were directed by my mentors. Bob and Kato mean the world to me and I hope with my whole heart I'll get to work with them again someday. I really, really do.

I went to SETC with Brittany and Ms. Sierra Carter, another best friend I've met along the way. Though we became friends the year before, it was this past year that we really bonded. She is such a weirdo but in the best ways. She's sweet and caring. She's crazy and hilarious. She's utterly bizarre and beautiful. I'm so glad you came into my life, Si. You are an inspiration.

I got into grad school. Read my previous blog to recap on the crazy amount of excitement, pride, and joy I feel about all of that.

Last night I received my last brawnie award, I spoke for Bob (who is retiring) and I also received an award from the College of Fine Arts and Design for my excellence in the theatre department. The very same award I received my freshmen year. What an incredible way to bookend my time here. What an honor.

UCO has made me who I am today. It has supplied me with friendships that will last a life time. It has challenged me. It has punished me and it has rewarded me. It introduced me to the love of my life, my future husband.

Thank you, UCO, and thank you to every single person that I had the pleasure to meet along my journey as a broncho. I may be trading my school colors of blue and bronze out for red and black, but the place that UCO has in my heart is irreplaceable.



With so, so much love.