in my head: December 2014

"Two posts in one week? What? That's just sheer craziness! What are you thinking, Kelsey? Can you handle that kind of pressure? HOW MANY SHOTS OF ESPRESSO HAVE YOU HAD TODAY?!?"

I know, I know. Two posts. One week. I'm out of control. And not just because I have had six shots of espresso today. (sorry not sorry like at all not even kind of okay maybe I'm a little jumpy whatever get off my back sorry that was rude kissSSsSsSses)

Today, I thought it would be fun to walk down digital memory lane. As I read through all of my posts from 2014, I realized just how big of a year it was for me. I meandered through the memories and felt very full. The last entry I read was entitled "2013". I wrote it at the end of December of 13'. It was sort of a last acknowledgment for all of the things I did, or at the very least tried to do, throughout that whole year. It served as a friendly nod to the past and an eager look towards the shiny new year in front of me. As I read it, it made me smile to think of a time when 2014 was just a little light up ahead, bright enough to be exciting but small enough to make me want to charge forward and just really ignite the damn thing.

That being said, I think I'd like to continue that lil' tradition. Every year I will do a post at the end of the year that briefly summarizes and solidifies all that went down in one neat, tidy entry. This year did a whole lot for me, I can at least do that for it.

Here we go, y'all.

--To 2014, You Were One Bad Betch, Baby--

This year was pretty huge for me. I think I did more, in terms of "big things" in this one year than in any other in my life. I mean yes, big stuff has happened every year throughout my life, but this year had a lot of back-to-back Bigz. Let's review.

1. I participated in SETC, got myself a lil' slew of callbacks for various grad schools and even a couple theater companies. Most importantly, I was able to audition for the school that I really, reeeeally wanted, Texas Tech University. They liked me enough to call me back and I spent most of the rest of the trip in Mobile, Alabama trying to make myself known to this wonderful university. I think I did everything short of tattooing my face on their arms so that they'd remember me when they headed back to Lubbock to chat.

Mobile was really festive!

2. Turns out, no illegal tattooing was necessary. I got in to Texas Tech University. Come Fall, I would be living in Lubbock and beginning my path towards receiving my MFA in Performance and Pedagogy. When I got that wonderful email, I think I floated on a cloud the rest of the month. Hell, even couple of months. You guys, I may still be floating. :)

-I don't have a picture because it's hard to focus a camera WHEN YOU ARE FLOATING-

3. I finally, after five years, received my BFA from UCO. I put on my shiny cap and gown, I walked across the stage and grabbed that weird empty folder that we all pretend has a diploma in it when in reality those get mailed to us like an electric bill, I DIDN'T EVEN TRIP, and I did it. I graduated. I am Broncho, hear me make whatever appropriate noise that Broncho's do!

4. I went to England. I stomped around swingin' London, I visited Shakespeare's grave in Stratford, I walked the smarty-pants, truly beautiful paths of Oxford, and then I stomped back to London again. It was a fast, crazy excursion and I got to do it with some really lovely people. I miss it. I will be back. Me and the Queen have a tea date, no biggz, she wants me to tell her how to do a perfect liquid line.

5. I sold my house in Edmond (that actually FINALLY just went through-thank the Lawd) and bought a house in Lubbock. In July, my parents and their crew packed up all of me and Tyler's junk and hauled us to West Texas. It was a trippy change of pace. It was, and still is, hard to be away from the people that I love. That being said, I love and truly appreciate this time that Tyler and I have had thus far. I think living away from the everyday norm of our whole lives back in Oklahoma has just brought us even closer, which I didn't even think was possible. Man, he's a keeper, that dweeb.

6. I started grad school. AHHHH!!! YAAAAH!!! WHOAAAA!!! and a whole lot more words like that. All in caps, always. Staring grad school is like living in a land where lowercase letters simply don't exist, y'know?

7. I finished my first semester of grad school. AHHHHH!!! YAAAAH!!! WHOAAAA!!! (See previous statement regarding internet shouting.) This semester I completed my first 9 hours of classes and maintained a 4.0 average, I was a TA in a cinema class where I was responsible for grading roughly 68 papers a week, I was the RA to our departments Director of Theater, I was a box office employee AND I was cast in and completed my first show here at Tech. And that was just my load. Me and my fellow classmates and friends did so much, and when I think back on it all...I'm just like obnoxiously proud of us. Graduate school is very hard, but it is very rewarding. Every project I completed, every shift I worked, every paper I finished (writing or grading), every thing I did this semester, literally everything, was a lesson. A challenge that, if completed, gave me new insight, new experience that I didn't have before. As I said in my last post, I cannot wait to see what the future has in store!

8. I got cast as Mother Courage. Typing those words still doesn't even feel real. I can't accurately explain how excited I am to get started on this show. I feel kind of like this: ASLDKFJADFDJFDLKSASKJDKDKDFFF!!!@###3KDFLFJDKDK*((*(*&**&^&*irjEAKSDD

y'know? And notice-all in caps. Told you.

This was my Mother Courage makeup for my Stage Makeup final in undergrad!

So that was my 14', sweets.

It was big. It was bold. It was beautiful.

2015, Lets do the damn thang~*

xoxo,

Kelsey

Well, hello there, my long lost lovelies!!! (And by that I mean, hey Mom! I'm finally updating my blog, aren't you pleased? By the way, your makeup looks flawless, remind me to steal that eye shadow when I'm in town next~*)

For real though, it's been a cool minute since I've had a chance to sit down and talk to myself on the internet. I'm glad to carve out some time. That may sound sarcastic, and a little bit it is, but mainly it's not. Mainly it's very true, actually. See, this little blog of mine kind of serves as my own personal newspaper, in which I am both sole writer and quite possibly sole reader. (Well, besides you, Deb! Duh! And seriously, LOVE that eye shadow! Just go ahead and ship it to me, thnxxxxxx.) It mainly documents big events in my life and occasionally has saucy articles on various cosmetic products. That's basically what a newspaper does, right? Right.

Anywho, I think it's about time I put out the latest edition of The Kosey Chronicles (patent pending)(just kidding, I don't even think I totally know what that means)(but if it means you can't name your newspaper The Kosey Chronicles, and I completely understand why you'd want to because it's like a really, really good title, then I'm sticking with it)(patent pending)(no take backsies)(for real)(sry)

Here we go, y'all.

As of a few weeks ago, I have successfully completed my first semester of graduate school at Texas Tech University. I could write a whole series of blog entries solely about that feat in and of itself, but that would take a lot of time and I really should spend said time like cleaning or doing laundry. I won't be doing either of those things, actually, but it's the thought that counts and it's the thought that will keep me from writing my aforementioned episodic posts.

So, instead of trying to time travel though all of the minute details of my first semester, I think I'll just say this:

Graduate school is the hardest thing I have ever done in my twenty four years of life. It is also the best choice I could have ever made for myself. Every day I am learning. Every day I am growing. Every day I inch, millimeter by millimeter, towards the goals I have always had, and what's even more amazing, towards goals I never even knew lived inside me. I am surrounded by people that make me better, people that simultaneously push and ground me. Everywhere I turn there is talent, intellect, dedication, and dreams that are so big and bright that they makes me want to dream bigger for myself. Yes, there are days that are so hard that I just have to sit down and cry on my giant to-do list and wonder if there is a way I can add an extra ten hours to my work day. There are days that I wonder "Can I do this?" or "Am I good enough? or sometimes, simply, "AAAAHHHHHH"....yeah, there are those days. And on those days...I try to remember that literally every person, no matter who they are or what they do, has those exact same thoughts from time to time. And on those days, I remember that old, dusty, wonderful phrase that goes something like "This too shall pass". And y'know what? It's true. Those days always melt away into the vast drippy world of yesteryear and a new day dawns and the smoke clears and I see clearly enough again to think to myself "I can do this" or "Hell yes, I am good enough" or sometimes, simply "AAAAHHHHHHH"...but like in a happy, squeal-y way. I think "This. This is exactly where I am supposed to be, exactly what I am supposed to be doing." I am, quite literally, living my dream. I am so, so very lucky. F'real, y'all.

I put that paragraph in italics so you could know it was meant to be read in a very introspective, thoughtful, touching, fancy way. Italics do that, y'know. Trust me, I go to grad school.

All joking aside, this semester has been a truly amazing, astro-rollercoaster through space and time. I have never felt both younger and greener AND older and wiser in my whole life. Every single day is a new adventure. Sometimes, I get my ass kicked. Sometimes, I kick ass. I'd like to think it's a pretty balanced ratio most of the time. I am in an amazing department with amazing professors and amazing students and amazing friends and an amazing on-campus wifi connection a decent amount of the time. I truly cannot wait to see what my next five semesters have in store!

What can I say, being a Red Raider is pretty Rad. :)